Assalamualaykum and
Hi!
It has been
a long time, since I last wrote anything to my readers as I have been really
busy and quite lazy actually. Hmm let me tell you guys the truth, I always want to update my blog and I
have many ideas, but whenever I started to let my fingers dancing on the
keyboard, my mind was like losing all the ideas and ... everything that I have
made up my mind with it were all gone, I wrote it halfway and got no ending.
So let me
tell you guys, I created my blog on 2010 if I am not mistaken … and I have
posted a lot of entries but almost all of it has been deleted. I don’t know why
but I have this kind of problem … not really a problem but I don’t know what to
call it, habit or just over thinking maybe?
It is something that makes me feel
miserable about things that I have done just like about everything that I have
posted, that feeling like forcing me to delete all of it back without any valid
reason.
I know some of you also have this kind of problem or feeling or habit
too, it is quite same with the problem when we write something like notes or
anything on a paper and you are hoping to keep it and want to read it back for
many times in future but then, once u read it again, u will be like
"arggghhh why my handwriting is so freaking bad?!”
(Yes I do understand my
notes and Alhamdulillah I got dean list even though I’m using that crap, I mean
my un-organized notes.)
Okay back to our topic, you will copy the same thing on
another paper just to have another nice note with quite perfect handwriting…
but IT HAPPEN AGAIN! U still think that your handwriting and your notes like a
piece of shit and u want to throw it away or chew it in your mouth and spit it
out far away… but actually… there is nothing wrong with our handwriting and
only that 'freak feeling' keep disturbing us. So poof! It makes us to tear down
that paper over and over again.
One more example is when I posted pictures on
Instagram, then next few days my mind keep telling me to delete it back.
Urghhhh I hate that feeling actually. Really, I don’t want to do it like what I
have said earlier, my mind just like kept forcing me. I need a douche bag every
time that feeling keep disturbing me. Blarghhhghghghhh.
So anyone,
please, if you know anything about that kind of problem or disorder ...
whatever it is, please let me know. Sharing is caring (smile). Mm, maybe some
of you might say that, hah Niwa is so lazy she actually could find it out herself.
Yeah of
course I can, but for now I am quite busy, I have something else to do and for
sure I will do it whenever I got time for it.
Huh what a
long entry, I just want to say HI actually but suddenly all the ideas come out
of my mind. ~hey brain! Stop farting dude~ that is all for now lah, I am not so
good in English, so if you have spotted any mistakes in my sentences, do correct
me.
